Guess What’s in My Mouth Right Now

MY PENIS EVOKES EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE WILLY-NILLY

MY PENIS WAS A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER

MY PENIS EXPRESSES HIS CONDOLENCES FOR YOUR WIFE’S STRETCHED-OUT SNATCH

MY PENIS WILL ROLL YOU IN FLOUR AND LOOK FOR THE WET SPOT

MY PENIS WILL NOT GIVE YOU A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON

CHANGE HAS COME TO MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS FETCHED A RECORD PRICE AT SOTHEBY’S

MY PENIS APPEALS TO A BROAD SWATH OF AMERICANS

SARAH PALIN PUT MY PENIS ON SALE AT EBAY

THE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE LEADS DIRECTLY TO MY BALLS

MY PENIS WILL HAVE HIS DAY IN COURT

YOUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME ENDS AT THE BASE OF MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS IS LIVING HISTORY.

MY PENIS WILL TAKE YOU DOWN A PEG.

MY PENIS REFUSES YOUR REQUEST FOR A SERIES OF TOWN-HALL DEBATES.

MY PENIS IS FOUR MORE YEARS OF THE SAME.

MY PENIS PUTS A SMILE ON YOUR FACE.

MY PENIS WILL SHOOT HIS CATEOGRY 5 LOAD ALL OVER YOUR HOMETOWN.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS THE GLOBAL LEADER IN FOREIGN DIRECT INVESTMENTS INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SNATCH

MY PENIS IS BURSTING WITH HONEY

MY PENIS IS NOT HAPPY WITH HIS SPEAKING ROLE AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION

MY PENIS LIVES FOR THE MOMENT

YOU WILL FIND THAT MY PENIS IS FULL OF SURPRISES

MY PENIS IS 90% PERSPERATION, 10% ROCK HARD DIAMOND

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS CLINCHES THE NOMINATION.

MY PENIS ROCKED CHINA.

MY PENIS CONTRIBUTES: HOW ABOUT YOU?

MY PENIS IS YOUR PLOUGHMAN’S LUNCH.

AMERICA LOVES MY PENIS.

MY PENIS LOVES YOU, BUT IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

THE SMART MONEY IS ON MY PENIS

MY PENIS RECOGNIZES THE INDEPENDENCE OF KOSOVO

MY PENIS WILL PIMP YOU OUT

PLACE MY PENIS TO WIN, PLACE, OR SHOW

HANNAH MONTANA IS NOT WORTHY TO LICK THE FLAP OF SKIN THAT CONNECTS MY PENIS TO MY BALLS

MY PENIS WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS IS THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

OH, WHAT A FEELING: MY PENIS

MY PENIS RACKS UP THE FREQUENT FLYER MILES IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S HAIRY COOCH

MY PENIS KNOWS A THING OR TWO ABOUT A THING OR TWO

GOOD NEWS!  MY PENIS IS RISEN

MY PENIS WILL BE COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN HE COMES

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

CONSUMER CONFIDENCE IN MY PENIS IS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS THE FIRST THING ON YOUR WIFE’S TO-DO LIST

AFTER MY PENIS, THERE’S NOT A DRY EYE IN THE HOUSE

THERE’S NO PENIS LIKE MY PENIS LIKE ANY PENIS YOU KNOW

MY PENIS, MY PENIS, MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

ALL ROADS LEAD TO MY PENIS.

GALLUP POLLS INDICATE THAT AMERICANS ARE READY TO SUCK ON MY ROCK-HARD DONG.

MY PENIS WILL “HANG IN THERE.”

MY PENIS IS APPROVED FOR GENERAL AUDIENCES.

NO PART OF MY PENIS MAY BE REPRODUCED, RETRANSMITTED, OR STORED IN A RETRIEVAL SYSTEM EXCEPT FOR THE HOT WHITE GLOBS OF JOY THAT SHOOT OUT THE HOLE.

MY PENIS CAUSED THE COLLAPSE OF BEAR STEARNS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS A BIG DEAL.

THE JURY IS IN AND THE VERDICT IS MY PENIS.

KNOCK KNOCK.  WHO’S THERE? MY PENIS.

AT THE END OF THE DAY IS MY PENIS.

LET’S HAVE A FRANK DISCUSSION ABOUT MY BALLS.

MY PENIS CONQUERED THE DARK CONTINENT THAT IS ERIKA MEDINA.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

THE FORCE IS STRONG WITH MY PENIS

MY PENIS, DO OR DIE

MY PENIS SUPPORTS DRILLING FOR OIL IN ALASKA

MY PENIS IS ALL THE EASTER CANDY YOU WILL GET THIS YEAR

ON THE THIRD DAY, MY PENIS ASCENDED TO THE HEAVENS; NOW PAINT MY BALLS

DO NOT ROB ME OF THIS MOMENT

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS HAS A PLAN FOR VICTORY.

MY PENIS BEATS THE PANTS OFF THE COMPETITION.

MY PENIS NEVER HAD A BAD DAY IN HIS LIFE.

EVERYBODY LOVES MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS IN A MEETING WITH YOUR WIFE AND CANNOT TAKE YOUR CALL RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU MAY LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH MY BALLS.

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO SUCK ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS AND MY BALLS FORM A TRIPTYCH.

MY PENIS WANTS TO PARTY ALL THE TIME, PARTY ALL THE TIME, PARTY ALL THE TIME.

MY PENIS DID NOT START IT, BUT HE SURE AS HELL WILL FINISH IT.

IF SOFIA LOREN WERE ALIVE, SHE WOULD BE SCRAMBLING FOR MY PENIS.

MY PENIS WILL NOT BACK DOWN.

MY PENIS IS IMPERVIOUS TO THE RECESSION.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

IGNORANCE OF MY PENIS IS NO EXCUSE.

MY PENIS IS A TASTY DESTINATION.

YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND IN MY PENIS.

MY PENIS FORCED THE BRITISH TO SURRENDER AT YORKTOWN.

MY PENIS IS THE PERMANENT GUEST HOST ON THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW.

YOUR POTENTIAL.  OUR PASSION.  MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS WILL COMPOUND YOUR WIFE’S CUNT DAILY.

LET’S HAVE A NATIONAL CONVERSATION ABOUT MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS HERE TO STAY.

R.S.V.P. STANDS FOR “SUCK MY ROCK HARD PENIS.”

THE LEFT SIDE OF MY PENIS IS AS PRETTY AS THE RIGHT SIDE.

MY BALLS ARE AMBIDEXTROUS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.