Archive for the CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY Category

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Aug 13 2010

MY PENIS USES STRONG ARM TACTICS

Posted by: My Mouth in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS PERFORMED ADMIRABLY

MY PENIS HAS A HOLE IN THE RIGHT PLACE

MY PENIS SEES A U.N. CONSPIRACY IN DENVER

MY PENIS DOES NOT CARE WHERE THE MOSQUE WILL BE BUILT

MY PENIS TALLY HO

MY PENIS IS INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

Comments 2 Comments »

Mar 16 2010

MY PENIS CHOKES THE COMPETITION

Posted by: My Mouth in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS IS ALL THE HEALTH CARE REFORM YOU NEED

MY PENIS BRINGS MORE PEACE TO THE MIDDLE EAST THAN TWO JIMMY CARTERS PUT TOGETHER

MY LEFT NUT

MY PENIS IS CHAIR OF FORMER GOVERNOR PALIN’S DEATH PANELS

MY PENIS HIP HIP HOORAY

MY PENIS WILL NOT BE RECALLED

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

Comments 2 Comments »

Dec 11 2008

MY PENIS IS THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON

Posted by: My Mouth in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY, GROW UP

MY PENIS IS SALVATION WRAPPED IN FLESH

MY PENIS IS THE PENISIFICATION OF QUID PRO QUO

MY PENIS SPEAKS TRUTH TO POWER

MY PENIS IS YOUR SANTA CLAUS

BAILOUT MY BALLS

MY PENIS IS CANDIDATE NUMBER ONE

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

Comments 2 Comments »

Nov 26 2008

MY PENIS IS A GAME-CHANGER

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS EVOKES EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE WILLY-NILLY

MY PENIS WAS A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER

MY PENIS EXPRESSES HIS CONDOLENCES FOR YOUR WIFE’S STRETCHED-OUT SNATCH

MY PENIS WILL ROLL YOU IN FLOUR AND LOOK FOR THE WET SPOT

MY PENIS WILL NOT GIVE YOU A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON

CHANGE HAS COME TO MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

Comments 322 Comments »

Sep 16 2008

MY PENIS IS IN YOUR OODA LOOP

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY, FOCUS YOU FUCKCHOPS

MY PENIS FETCHED A RECORD PRICE AT SOTHEBY’S

MY PENIS APPEALS TO A BROAD SWATH OF AMERICANS

SARAH PALIN PUT MY PENIS ON SALE AT EBAY

THE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE LEADS DIRECTLY TO MY BALLS

MY PENIS WILL HAVE HIS DAY IN COURT

YOUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME ENDS AT THE BASE OF MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

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Sep 09 2008

MY PENIS BRINGS PEACE TO THE CONQUERED

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS IS LIVING HISTORY.

MY PENIS WILL TAKE YOU DOWN A PEG.

MY PENIS REFUSES YOUR REQUEST FOR A SERIES OF TOWN-HALL DEBATES.

MY PENIS IS FOUR MORE YEARS OF THE SAME.

MY PENIS PUTS A SMILE ON YOUR FACE.

MY PENIS WILL SHOOT HIS CATEOGRY 5 LOAD ALL OVER YOUR HOMETOWN.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

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Aug 25 2008

MY PENIS, NOT APARTHEID

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS IS THE GLOBAL LEADER IN FOREIGN DIRECT INVESTMENTS INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SNATCH

MY PENIS IS BURSTING WITH HONEY

MY PENIS IS NOT HAPPY WITH HIS SPEAKING ROLE AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION

MY PENIS LIVES FOR THE MOMENT

YOU WILL FIND THAT MY PENIS IS FULL OF SURPRISES

MY PENIS IS 90% PERSPERATION, 10% ROCK HARD DIAMOND

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

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May 26 2008

MY PENIS IS ON THE HORIZON

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS CLINCHES THE NOMINATION.

MY PENIS ROCKED CHINA.

MY PENIS CONTRIBUTES: HOW ABOUT YOU?

MY PENIS IS YOUR PLOUGHMAN’S LUNCH.

AMERICA LOVES MY PENIS.

MY PENIS LOVES YOU, BUT IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Comments 4 Comments »

Apr 29 2008

MY PENIS WILL TAKE YOU UNDER HIS WING

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY, I can

THE SMART MONEY IS ON MY PENIS

MY PENIS RECOGNIZES THE INDEPENDENCE OF KOSOVO

MY PENIS WILL PIMP YOU OUT

PLACE MY PENIS TO WIN, PLACE, OR SHOW

HANNAH MONTANA IS NOT WORTHY TO LICK THE FLAP OF SKIN THAT CONNECTS MY PENIS TO MY BALLS

MY PENIS WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

Comments 3 Comments »

Apr 14 2008

MY PENIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS IS THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

OH, WHAT A FEELING: MY PENIS

MY PENIS RACKS UP THE FREQUENT FLYER MILES IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S HAIRY COOCH

MY PENIS KNOWS A THING OR TWO ABOUT A THING OR TWO

GOOD NEWS!  MY PENIS IS RISEN

MY PENIS WILL BE COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN HE COMES

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

Comments 3 Comments »

Apr 11 2008

MY PENIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR DAY

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

CONSUMER CONFIDENCE IN MY PENIS IS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS THE FIRST THING ON YOUR WIFE’S TO-DO LIST

AFTER MY PENIS, THERE’S NOT A DRY EYE IN THE HOUSE

THERE’S NO PENIS LIKE MY PENIS LIKE ANY PENIS YOU KNOW

MY PENIS, MY PENIS, MY PENIS

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

Comments 1 Comment »

Apr 04 2008

MY PENIS ROCKS YOUR WORLD

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY, Uncategorized

ALL ROADS LEAD TO MY PENIS.

GALLUP POLLS INDICATE THAT AMERICANS ARE READY TO SUCK ON MY ROCK-HARD DONG.

MY PENIS WILL “HANG IN THERE.”

MY PENIS IS APPROVED FOR GENERAL AUDIENCES.

NO PART OF MY PENIS MAY BE REPRODUCED, RETRANSMITTED, OR STORED IN A RETRIEVAL SYSTEM EXCEPT FOR THE HOT WHITE GLOBS OF JOY THAT SHOOT OUT THE HOLE.

MY PENIS CAUSED THE COLLAPSE OF BEAR STEARNS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Comments 1 Comment »

Mar 31 2008

MY PENIS IS YOUR OB/GYN

Posted by: El Capitan in BIG FAT COCK, CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS IS A BIG DEAL.

THE JURY IS IN AND THE VERDICT IS MY PENIS.

KNOCK KNOCK.  WHO’S THERE? MY PENIS.

AT THE END OF THE DAY IS MY PENIS.

LET’S HAVE A FRANK DISCUSSION ABOUT MY BALLS.

MY PENIS CONQUERED THE DARK CONTINENT THAT IS ERIKA MEDINA.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Comments 2 Comments »

Mar 20 2008

MY PENIS HAS HIS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS

Posted by: El Capitan in CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

THE FORCE IS STRONG WITH MY PENIS

MY PENIS, DO OR DIE

MY PENIS SUPPORTS DRILLING FOR OIL IN ALASKA

MY PENIS IS ALL THE EASTER CANDY YOU WILL GET THIS YEAR

ON THE THIRD DAY, MY PENIS ASCENDED TO THE HEAVENS; NOW PAINT MY BALLS

DO NOT ROB ME OF THIS MOMENT

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

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Feb 14 2008

MY PENIS IS ON THE MARCH

Posted by: El Capitan in CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS HAS A PLAN FOR VICTORY.

MY PENIS BEATS THE PANTS OFF THE COMPETITION.

MY PENIS NEVER HAD A BAD DAY IN HIS LIFE.

EVERYBODY LOVES MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS IN A MEETING WITH YOUR WIFE AND CANNOT TAKE YOUR CALL RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU MAY LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH MY BALLS.

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO SUCK ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Comments 1 Comment »

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  • About Me


    I'm into cooking. Here's my recipe for Hot Dog Cake: 12 Hot dogs, thoroughly boiled. 1 lb. sugar. 14 Hand-made hot dog buns. 2 gallons of store-brand mustard. Mix half the sugar and all of the hot dogs together in a large mixing bowl. Beat off regularly until creamy. Then, for the icing, mix the mustard and the rest of the sugar until spoon can stand up straight in the bowl. Bake the hot dog mixture at 375 degrees F for 45 minutes. Place on a big rack. Let it cool until all the juices run down the big rack. Slather the "icing" on the cake. Make oblong slices of cake and place into the hand made hot dog buns. Eat. Puke. Repeat.

  • Statements of Approval


    "It's like the Drudge Report for mouths!" --Professor M. Balls

    "This website is relentless." --Anonymous

    "Grimace is everywhere hamburgers are made, slopping on his purply gunk where you least expect it." --Anonymous

    "yay, man-custard." --lola

    "Sss-ssss-stuh-stuh-stuh-sstop muh-mmm-muhhh-mak-making fuh-fuh-ffff-fun uh-uh-uh-of mmm-muh-mee. Y-yyy-yoou duh-duh-duhh-dick." --Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li

    "I demand to be reunited with my penis! This is an OUTRAGE!" --Chaff, the Bouncy Foreskin

    "tweet tweet tweet" --All the little birdies eating the big pieces in your vomit

    "I am .....relieved ...that you are capable of ....various levels of communication. Impressive communication." --Michele ungh ungh ungh

    "If you think my SMILE is wrinkly, you should see my TWAT! Have you seen it? It's like Wrinkle City down there! TOUCHDOWN!!" --Kate Capshaw

    "*blorp* Shark! Shark!" --Gormless-looking Asian broad

    "My sphincter and colon are HEROES and will receive a Brown Star for their efforts." --My Mouth

    "Four score and seven what the hell is this on my FACE!?!" --"Honest Abe" Lincoln

    "STOP IT STOP IT I PREFER BUTTERSCOTCH ICE CREAM STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT" --Sheppy

    "I GOT YOUR LATE FEES RIGHT HEEEERRRE!!" *sppppuurrrtttt!* "BWAH HAH HA HAH HA HA HAAAA!" --Guy with His Dick in the Video Return Slot

    "Grow up." ... "Oh yeah. I forgot to add: go suck a dick. Sorry for leaving that out."--Deroy Murdock

    "I've seen ugly cunts in my time, but yours takes the CAKE, lady! Holy fuck! If I look at it any longer I'll turn to stone! It's like the Holocaust in there! Aaaaaaa!! I think I can help you." --Dr. Alter to a Potential Labia Majora Remodeling Patient

    "My ass crack demands an explanation for this heinous attack on my spongy person." *fffrrrpppttt* "Yes. I know. I'm dead and I'm farting. Big Deal. Get over it. GROW UP." --Dead Guy

    "I'm kind of disappointed that cats don't like to eat dog shit. The lack of reciprocity there is pretty hurtful, you know?" --A. Dog

    "I don't think you should share any of that delisious watermellon bubilisious (sic) with any of your friends. I really feel that way." --Anonymous

    "It's okay, Mr. Costner, it happens- hey! What are you doing? Let go of your penis RIGHT NOW! You stop tugging on it THIS MINUTE! Oh! Oh, LORD. Look at that MESS. :)..." --Horrified Masseuse

    "I think it was the blood in the ejaculate that crossed the line... I take that back. It was the 6 dollar chili cheese burger that did it. It's indescribably awful looking. It really does look like loose poop with some mustard on it." --Anonymous

    "I will show you [the foam rubber universe where no one ever gets hurt], but you have to suck the butterscotch ice cream out of my dick first. Think of it like it's communion. But with pubic hair." --Jesus

    "Is this what the website has become? A depository of the most disgusting pictures you can find? My goodness. What the hell is wrong with you. I TOLD you I didn't want to see that picture, like a thousand times. Now, I'm going to the grave with a picture of some nutjob's horribly inflated scrotum in my brain. I'll never get into heaven now. NEVER." --Professor M. Balls

    "It is obvious to anyone who isn't a shriveled horse testicle that if they receive a letter signed by me, there is no need for me to also write in the manner of my unfortunate speech impediment." --Barbara Walters

    "By the way, you weren't invited to the party precisely because you're the sort of person who would eat a chocolate cake out of a bushbuck's stinky pussy after I'd fucked it. The cake, not the bushbuck. I hope I've made myself clear. No offense." --Anonymous

    "COME ON FOLKS. I DIED FOR YOUR SINS. THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS DIG INTO YOUR POCKETS AND POCKETBOOKS AND SEE IF YOU CAN BREAK A FIVE DOLLAR BILL FOR ME. THANKS. THANKS FOR NOTHING. I GUARANTEE THAT IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, I WOULDN'T PISS ON YOU IF YOU WERE ON FIRE. DICKWEASELS." --Jesus Christ Almighty

    "Uh oh. Here comes the milk. *ssssppppiiiirrrrrtttttt*" --Lactating Womyn